Friday, April 2, 2010

Today

I'm finding that being told that your baby is going to die is a much different emotion than just being told that your baby might die.  For me, that is what I feel like the doctors told us this week even though we haven't seen the new MRI.  Our meeting was full of a lot of, if this then maybe this or this....  Most of the talk was of slowing the growth and maybe adding a few months.  I've been reluctant to talk about it.  Perhaps I'm grieving already I don't know.  I am struggling to get by each day.  How is Johnny, well you will have to ask him.  We are supporting each other as best we can and trying to prep the children for what is ahead.  We continue to be in need of your friendship, prayers, and support.  Thanks for all you have done for us.
Cari

11 comments:

  1. I love you guys. If you never need anything that is within human ability, you know where to find me. ♥

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  2. You are daily in our thoughts and prayers...wish there was more I could do.

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  3. Allred family, you will be in my prayers. All of you are amazing.

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  4. I am sorry Cari. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. I know you will be ok, the Lord will help and comfort you. My sisters husband died last week unexpectedly and I can tell you that many angels have been by her side lifting her up and carrying her through this. I know the same will happen to you and your family. We will pray for you and your family and hope for the best. Love you tons.

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  5. Cari, I have come by here so many times since you posted this. My instinct is to say to you, "Don't go there. You don't know yet what that spot is." But each time, I remember how I felt during those tortuous 3 weeks of waiting for the next scan... which was really like waiting to hear if your own heart was going to break apart (again). I made a lot of peace with death - as much as I could, anyway - during those weeks. So I get it. And: I am still holding on to hope that Ben has radiation-related changes. Zoe's spot was "nodular", very close to the original tumor bed, and Dr. Geyer and Cory were also very worried during that time. We had similar conversations. What else can I say? Cancer stinks. Keeping you all in my prayers. - Mette Earlywine

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  6. My dear friend...I love you...will call you later! XO

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  7. Cari, I will be sending you hugs and hopefully angels through my prayers. If you need something that I could do for you please know I am here. You are a wonderful mother and Ben is so lucky to have you! ~Loves hugs and kisses Bri

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  8. Cari, I think of you, Ben and your family often, and I am sorry I haven't done a better job of keeping in touch!

    Take care of yourself. Lots of love.

    Lani (Mia's Mom)

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